Counselling for anxiety
It is normal and even helpful to feel anxious some of the time, for instance before a job interview, a stage performance or an exam. However, with an anxiety disorder, these feelings can occur at any time and are a disproportionate response to most of life’s everyday events.
Some of the issues that might cause anxiety to develop
- Having a personality that is more prone to anxiety
- A single or multiple traumatic event/s
- Stress caused by illness or difficult life events
- Alcohol or drugs (although many people begin to use alcohol or drugs to try and deal with anxiety, they also have the effect of creating more anxiety)
- Abusive relationships
- Anxiety can run in families (however it is important to stress that this doesn’t mean that it cannot be treated)
Some of the symptoms you may be experiencing with your anxiety:
In your body:
Racing heart; rapid breathing; sweating, shaking; tiredness; sleep difficulties; stomach problems
In your mind:
Feeling a sense of dread; constant worry; avoiding anything that worries you; avoiding social interaction; shame that this is happening to you
Is your anxiety panic or anxiety based?
Your anxiety may be more panic based in which case you may be prone to the sudden onset of panic attacks, for which there may or may not be a trigger. Alternatively, it may be more anxiety based so that you are trapped in endless cycles or catastrophising about future events or criticising yourself for past events. You can read more on Very Well Mind
They stress that it is possible to experience both panic and anxiety-based disorders at the same time.
Distinguish between panic and anxiety-based symptoms with this useful table:
Panic attack
- Sudden
- Lasts for minutes
- Shaking or trembling
- Chest pain
- Hot flashes
- Sense of detachment
Anxiety
- Gradually builds
- Can last for months
- Restlessness
- Fatigue
- Muscle tension
- Irritability
How will I work with your anxiety?
I have found since starting work as a counsellor that no two people describe anxiety in exactly the same way. As such, I have always worked with the person to find out the kind of being their anxiety is. Although physiological responses and feelings of dread seem to be shared by all with anxiety, the feelings people have about themselves are unique and tailored to their perception of their life experience.
It is often a ghastly cocktail of the worst of the hurts from childhood with some unpleasant adult experiences thrown in. These beliefs determine how the person reacts in day-to-day events. If I tell myself I am unlovable or a failure, I will have memories of feeling that as a child and perhaps the disdain on a parent’s face and I will probably reprimand myself in the tone of that adult.
If I go into a social situation, I will be monitoring myself for failures. If I am unable to complete a task about which I am phobic, I will bully myself after. When I get home, I will rewind and play back those perceived failures and berate myself in the tone of the critical parent (and anyone else who I perceive as having negative feelings for me).
This will go on until the next perceived failure happens to me and I start to ruminate on that. As such, the thought of putting myself through a social situation or trying to make myself do something fear inducing becomes unbearable.
What can we do about this in counselling?
When we meet for a consultation, we can talk about the kind of anxiety you have. It doesn’t matter if you have a diagnosis, whether you have been anxious for your whole life or if it is a recent adaptation. If you decide to work with me, we will begin the process of investigating why it has been necessary for anxiety to develop for you. We will discover how you are talking to yourself and challenge that approach.
We will work at improving your relationship with yourself so that you begin to accept yourself and like yourself more, which will lessen the anxiety that you are experiencing.
